Conclusion

PHOTO: BRITTANY LESTER

Without doubt this project was the most challenging that I have ever undertaken. That having been said, the project actually went pretty smoothly in my opinion. Of course there were plenty of obstacles to overcome and each presented its own difficulties. However, just because a task is challenging it doesn't follow that the it is going poorly. or that your doing a poor job. It simply means, that completing the task is a challenge...the important ones usually are.

When the choice was made to use this project for the thesis, I had little idea of how it would be produced, or what it would look like. It was like a hunch...a feeling for the mood and look of the piece. I thought i knew what it was about and what it meant, but I really had a good idea of what I was going for. Then I started to think about it.

In January of 2008 I really started to think about it. I thought about how it would be done, what tools would be needed, what it meant, why I wanted to do this (my influences), how and where to display this. I realized early on that I would need to learn more about other projects of this medium and style.

I registered for an independent study Art History course in mixed media/assemblage/performance/installation art to educate myself on other artists who work this way. I also made sure to register for an independent study course in the studio practices of that style of art making for the final semester I was in school. These courses were of great help to me. Not only did I learn a lot about other artists working in this manner, but also about where I fit into that niche of the art world.

The professors exposed me to a wealth of information that gave perspective on what I was doing. This was both a help and a hurdle for me. I was able to figure out what it was exactly I wanted to do and how to do it, but at the same time I was thinking about the project in relation to many different contexts. It became quite difficult to figure out what the content of my work even was....let alone how that content would be expressed by the actual work I was producing.

One of the things that helped me to make sense of the project was an assignment from the thesis committee. I was to produce a visual map of my influences on the wall so that I could see and connect the ideas i was dealing with. I was able to actually look at all the things I was thinking about and determine which of them were or were not useful to the project. This allowed me to focus on only the important ideas and how they related to each other, in a sense creating the context of the work.

It is not an easy task for me to articulate what this work is really about. I feel that there is something ineffable about it. I have always felt that if an idea was easily expressed in words, there would be little need (or drive) to express it visually. A few of the main themes present in the work are the car/beast metaphor, the relationship between subject and object, ideas about simulation and the common notion of the car itself.

When this project started I liked to call it an examination of the relationships we have with our possessions through the terms of use. I feel that is an accurate statement regarding my desire to produce this body of work. I wanted to examine these relationships, twist my mind around them and express the findings visually.

I used my own car for this project because of the relationship I had with it. I was the subject and it was the object. For me though sometimes it felt as though the situation was reversed but I think now that it only seemed that way because it became an extension of my subjective self as I controlled its actions. The strongest feelings that the car was its own subject came when there was unexpected behavior from the car. A mysterious break down would make me feel like i was not in control and provide me with the feeling that the car had its own subjectivity. This made it more like the relationship was two sided.

Another important reason I used the Lumina was because I had a dream. At this point the exact details are scattered into the corners of my mind, but I do know that the car was talking to me. The hood opened and closed like a mouth and it spoke to me. I knew then that I would use the car for my thesis project. I did not know what the end product would be. It is important though that the car was alive in the dream. This coincides with the interpretation of the car as a beast in the conception of the project.





The car/beast metaphor is of the utmost importance to my conceptualization of the project. It is likely the most apparent metaphor to viewers in two ways. Firstly, the title of the project simulates the word animal and brings about notions of a beast of sort. The misspellings in the title are nice as they seem to imply that something is not right about this animal. Also, the creation of primal looking objects out of the materials of the car brings about notions of ancient civilizations making use of killed beasts for their clothing and tools.





It is important to note that I am not a person from an ancient civilization. As a result of this anything I produced from the cars body and any rituals performed in relation with the project are simulations based on what I think I know about the behavior of ancient people. The biological hardware is the same, I take in sense data and react. As more data comes in, my reactions get better and so do the results.





The difference is that the world I live in today is not and can not be the world of our ancestors. People learn from each other and the cumulative effect of 200,000 years of learning is a civilization that is drastically complex and entirely different from that of ancient people. I am producing a representation of what someone from my culture thinks that someone from an ancient culture would make from a killed beast...if that beast were a car. It is a simulation with substitutions.

These substitutions are very important to the concept of this work. Understanding the piece as a whole would not be possible without acknowledging them. There are both material and cultural substitutions throughout. The most obvious of the material substitutions is that of the car. The car is similar to a beast both in structure and use resulting in a multi layered metaphor. It was created to replace the use of beasts for transport and because of that, the anatomy of the car mimes that of an animal with substitutions of its own. My substitution of the car for a beast re-mimes these substitutions and this is indeed what a great deal of the concept for I.E ANIMUL is based around.

This crucial change is also responsible for further material changes as it was the source used to make the objects as well as the theme for the rituals involved with the work. The rituals are largely cultural substitutions for ancient rituals that related to beasts. For example in many ancient cultures it was considered a rite of passage for a young man to slay his first beast. This signaled his transition from the world of a boy to the world of a man. In my own culture, a young person getting their first car has a somewhat similar significance. It signals an ability to take on responsibility as well as grants a level of freedom that usher the child into the world of adults. In the concept of my project this similarity is no mere coincidence.

The cultural substitutions were a physical necessity for the project as I have no exact knowledge of ancient rituals. More importantly, they were conceptually necessary because they are what connects the project to my own culture. This project is after all about my relationship with the world I live in. Sometimes that world seems so abstract and uncanny that I have a difficult time believing it is real. It is no surprise that my artwork seeks to express an abstract and twisted world considering that so much of what I encounter in my life gives me an unsettled feeling. I explore those unsettled feelings and express them visually in the form of art, quite often as a way of coping with them. Works like I.E ANIMUL are the result of me trying to deal with and rationalize an irrational world (or possibly vice versa).

As the end of this project was approaching I made a conscious decision to take a break from producing works of art once it was finished. I wasn't quite sure why or how long the break would last, I simply felt it was necessary. I think now that this was because for quite some time my life became about making this work of art. It consumed all of my energy and time. The abstract nature of the world continually leaked into my creative process. If the thing I do to cope with the confusing nature of the world becomes just as confusing, it no longer works as a coping mechanism.

It has been a few months since the project was finished and exhibited. I haven't made any serious works of art. I did make a couple of drawings and ideas continue to come to me. I write them down in my journal and continue to track my creative impulses. At this point I still feel that I need some more time off from producing major artworks. Some days though I feel that I have to make something for fear that I am going insane.

The art I plan on producing in the future will most certainly be conceptual in nature. A few of the themes I wish to express are the notion of use, sustainability and relationships with the people and objects of the world. The next project I am planning has to do with relational aesthetics. The plan involves writing letters. It started with a desire to meet our current president Barack Obama. The idea is to research (his issues, policies, etc.) to read his books and to ask questions that I feel are relevant to the things that are important to my life. The goal is to strike up a meaningful dialogue with 'the most powerful person in the world' with the hopes of actually meeting him and having our photograph taken together. The image is an important part of the concept for the project as it will make a great impact on viewers.

I do of course also plan on continuing to create visual works of art. One thing I truly miss is drawing. I want to put charcoal to paper and produce a series of drawings. I even feel the urge to simply work on my ability to produce drawings with realism. I want to work on these skills as I feel they will help me to be more employable as an art professor in the future. Aside from that, drawing is for me an essential part of my creative process. I sort out my ideas through drawing around the ideas contained within them. I.E ANIMUL was no exception to this as I produced several drawings (and prints of those drawings) in relation with the project.

For me this project was the culmination of everything I learned as an art student. It is my finest piece yet both formally and conceptually. I feel that it thoughtfully engages the ideas and culture of my time and place. Of course as the creator I feel that there are things I could have done better, or more that I could have done that would have added to the work. On the other hand though it was an ambitious task to undertake and the final results speak to this, which in my opinion makes the whole thing more impressive. I don't wish to sound pompous (though I suppose I do) but I am very pleased with the work I produced.



To everyone who helped me, to all of my teachers and friends who supported me and challenged my ideas and to my family, Thank you.

Thesis Exhibition and Reception

PHOTO: MEHDI HASHEMI

PHOTO: MEHDI HASHEMI

Once the performances were done, the objects were made and the video was all edited, The job of installing the work in the gallery began. This is really half true, because a few weeks before the actual installation started I had actually already begun building some of the shelves for the objects to sit on. Even longer before that, i was planning how it would all go up...and securing displays and the gallery itself. A lot of thought and work went into making the exhibit happen.

As all of the objects were shown in gallery setting in the last post, I will here refer you to the pictures there for image references.

Building the shelves was one of the easiest parts of making the display. I simply found scrap wood and cut the boards to size. Then I sanded and primed them with gesso. I bought shelf brackets and attached the shelves to the wall. Then painted them to match the wall white.

Placing the objects on the shelves was easy...figuring out where the shelves needed to be was a little tougher.

Several of the other objects were hung directly on the wall with nails or clear tacks. Still others on pedestals. Larger objects like the throne and half car were displayed directly on the gallery floor. Moving the car into and then repositioning it were the two most difficult tasks of the installation process.

I had to enlist the help of several people to help me move the car from the staging area to the gallery. Fortunately I had a lot of friends willing to do me a favor. I started off by using a chain to pull the car across the gravel to the pavement of the power arts parking lot. I had hoped that the steering would still work for the one tire, and I was lucky...it did. This made it fairly easy for us to push the jagged 1/2 car across the lot and control its direction fairly easily (i say fairly because the power steering did not work and much force was needed to turn the wheel). We pushed the thing right in the front door. It fit just barely through and we placed it in the gallery straight ahead of the door behind a column.

Later, as I began installing the other works around this position, a professor (a smart one) mentioned that what was there did not look as good as it could, and suggested I spread out. He noted that the car was in a bad spot, and that it should be moved to a certain place. At first this frustrated the hell out of me as I simply wanted to be finished with the project. I completely disagreed with him and argued for some time. I got so stressed out that I stopped working entirely. I smoked a couple cigarettes...then decided i needed to smoke weed and re-evaluate the situation.

After smoking I sat in the gallery for a while (a half hour or so) looking at it and thinking about what could be better. I decided to move the car (exactly where the professor had suggested realizing it was indeed the best spot for it) and then began moving everything else around, editing down and spreading out. The next day I organized some friends to help me move the car one more time. Doing this was simpler than I thought it would be. We simply pushed the car a little forward, cut the wheel all the way and pushed it to make the turn. Then, parallel parked it (cut the wheel the other way and went forward) into the perfect place. Rested the frame on the Jack stands and we were finished.

After that all that was to be done was touch up the paint on the shelves, put up the vinyl lettering title prepare food for the reception and place it on a table. Special thanks go to Josh and Eugene for figuring out the menu and preparing the food.

The reception (in my opinion) was a resounding success. There were so many people there that I felt I was talking the entire night. Almost all of the food was eaten and the majority of the beer and wine were gone. It seemed like everyone had a good time to me...I know I did. It was odd too though...there was a feeling like after all I had done the reception was over so quickly and there was a serious sense of the project being complete.