PHOTO: BRITTANY LESTERAnother important reason I used the Lumina was because I had a dream. At this point the exact details are scattered into the corners of my mind, but I do know that the car was talking to me. The hood opened and closed like a mouth and it spoke to me. I knew then that I would use the car for my thesis project. I did not know what the end product would be. It is important though that the car was alive in the dream. This coincides with the interpretation of the car as a beast in the conception of the project.
The car/beast metaphor is of the utmost importance to my conceptualization of the project. It is likely the most apparent metaphor to viewers in two ways. Firstly, the title of the project simulates the word animal and brings about notions of a beast of sort. The misspellings in the title are nice as they seem to imply that something is not right about this animal. Also, the creation of primal looking objects out of the materials of the car brings about notions of ancient civilizations making use of killed beasts for their clothing and tools.
It is important to note that I am not a person from an ancient civilization. As a result of this anything I produced from the cars body and any rituals performed in relation with the project are simulations based on what I think I know about the behavior of ancient people. The biological hardware is the same, I take in sense data and react. As more data comes in, my reactions get better and so do the results.
The difference is that the world I live in today is not and can not be the world of our ancestors. People learn from each other and the cumulative effect of 200,000 years of learning is a civilization that is drastically complex and entirely different from that of ancient people. I am producing a representation of what someone from my culture thinks that someone from an ancient culture would make from a killed beast...if that beast were a car. It is a simulation with substitutions.
These substitutions are very important to the concept of this work. Understanding the piece as a whole would not be possible without acknowledging them. There are both material and cultural substitutions throughout. The most obvious of the material substitutions is that of the car. The car is similar to a beast both in structure and use resulting in a multi layered metaphor. It was created to replace the use of beasts for transport and because of that, the anatomy of the car mimes that of an animal with substitutions of its own. My substitution of the car for a beast re-mimes these substitutions and this is indeed what a great deal of the concept for I.E ANIMUL is based around.
This crucial change is also responsible for further material changes as it was the source used to make the objects as well as the theme for the rituals involved with the work. The rituals are largely cultural substitutions for ancient rituals that related to beasts. For example in many ancient cultures it was considered a rite of passage for a young man to slay his first beast. This signaled his transition from the world of a boy to the world of a man. In my own culture, a young person getting their first car has a somewhat similar significance. It signals an ability to take on responsibility as well as grants a level of freedom that usher the child into the world of adults. In the concept of my project this similarity is no mere coincidence.
The cultural substitutions were a physical necessity for the project as I have no exact knowledge of ancient rituals. More importantly, they were conceptually necessary because they are what connects the project to my own culture. This project is after all about my relationship with the world I live in. Sometimes that world seems so abstract and uncanny that I have a difficult time believing it is real. It is no surprise that my artwork seeks to express an abstract and twisted world considering that so much of what I encounter in my life gives me an unsettled feeling. I explore those unsettled feelings and express them visually in the form of art, quite often as a way of coping with them. Works like I.E ANIMUL are the result of me trying to deal with and rationalize an irrational world (or possibly vice versa).
As the end of this project was approaching I made a conscious decision to take a break from producing works of art once it was finished. I wasn't quite sure why or how long the break would last, I simply felt it was necessary. I think now that this was because for quite some time my life became about making this work of art. It consumed all of my energy and time. The abstract nature of the world continually leaked into my creative process. If the thing I do to cope with the confusing nature of the world becomes just as confusing, it no longer works as a coping mechanism.
It has been a few months since the project was finished and exhibited. I haven't made any serious works of art. I did make a couple of drawings and ideas continue to come to me. I write them down in my journal and continue to track my creative impulses. At this point I still feel that I need some more time off from producing major artworks. Some days though I feel that I have to make something for fear that I am going insane.
The art I plan on producing in the future will most certainly be conceptual in nature. A few of the themes I wish to express are the notion of use, sustainability and relationships with the people and objects of the world. The next project I am planning has to do with relational aesthetics. The plan involves writing letters. It started with a desire to meet our current president Barack Obama. The idea is to research (his issues, policies, etc.) to read his books and to ask questions that I feel are relevant to the things that are important to my life. The goal is to strike up a meaningful dialogue with 'the most powerful person in the world' with the hopes of actually meeting him and having our photograph taken together. The image is an important part of the concept for the project as it will make a great impact on viewers.
I do of course also plan on continuing to create visual works of art. One thing I truly miss is drawing. I want to put charcoal to paper and produce a series of drawings. I even feel the urge to simply work on my ability to produce drawings with realism. I want to work on these skills as I feel they will help me to be more employable as an art professor in the future. Aside from that, drawing is for me an essential part of my creative process. I sort out my ideas through drawing around the ideas contained within them. I.E ANIMUL was no exception to this as I produced several drawings (and prints of those drawings) in relation with the project.
For me this project was the culmination of everything I learned as an art student. It is my finest piece yet both formally and conceptually. I feel that it thoughtfully engages the ideas and culture of my time and place. Of course as the creator I feel that there are things I could have done better, or more that I could have done that would have added to the work. On the other hand though it was an ambitious task to undertake and the final results speak to this, which in my opinion makes the whole thing more impressive. I don't wish to sound pompous (though I suppose I do) but I am very pleased with the work I produced.
To everyone who helped me, to all of my teachers and friends who supported me and challenged my ideas and to my family, Thank you.

















